finale

This is it. The final stretch. And I’m not talking about my studies or anything.

Tonight I’m going to follow my heart. Let myself go. Not care what anyone thinks about anything I do. Because I sure as hell am not about to leave Shanghai with any regrets.

Shanghai, you’ve treated me well. You’ve taught me to grow up, taught me just how much fun I can have being young, taught me that there are no limits to the night. Shanghai, you’ve also taught me what it feels like to get hurt, to be betrayed, and to cry. But all of that is going to be worth it in the end. I want to leave this city feeling like I’ve went through the experience of a lifetime. And I have a feeling that I will.

Here’s to Shanghai, and here’s to you.


Beautiful

You had me
From the very first time
I laid my eyes on you
And decided that
That was what I wanted.

That night
For the first time in my life
I was allowed the luxury
of not just admiring from afar.

Thank you for sharing
A bit of your dazzling beauty with me.
Even though it was short lived,
Even though
To you
It may have meant nothing at all

To me
It was everything.

And this whole time
I could have given my heart
To anybody here
But I chose you.

I know you didn’t
Choose me,
But that’s okay.

I’m not ashamed of
Wanting something beautiful.
Don’t we all want the same?

And I’m not going to be ashamed,
Tonight,
Of anything I do.

Because I know I’m better than
A fleeting hookup
A regret you want buried
In the recesses of your mind.

I know I’m better than
Hiding my feelings
Just because I don’t want
Others to judge,
Because I’m scared of what you’d think
When you know.

I think you already know
And if you don’t,
I want you to.

Tonight I want to let you know
That I cared about you.

Tonight I want to let you know
No matter how irrational this may sound
That you meant a lot to me.

Tonight I want to let you know
That you’re beautiful, one-of-a-kind,
Even everything I hate about you.

Tonight I want to let you know
You kind of broke my heart.
But you made my semester.

Thank you for making me feel, for a moment, special.
Thank you for giving me your attention, thank you
For remembering my name.
And most of all
Thank you for being beautiful.

Here’s a secret
only for you:
I’d rather swim in dirty water
Than get lost
in any deep blue sea.