i don't feel like i've ever been this frustrated

if you don't like me, tell me. don't play games with me. I can't do this anymore. I really can't take this shit anymore. If I didn't like you, I wouldn't care. But I do. you know I do. I don't believe you can't see it, that you can't feel it. and if you were sure, wouldn't you want to walk down this road together? because we can work around anything, everything, if the feelings are there. but if they're not, then nothing in hell could ever make this work. I want so much for this to be something great, something beautiful. and I feel like I'm all in. But I don't know where the fuck you are. I don't know what the fuck you're doing. I don't think you know what you're doing and honestly, I don't know if you even care.

This is no longer about any stupid game.
This isn't about playing anyone hot and cold.
This is about you and me and what's gonna happen.
Someone told me not to fuck this up.
But I'm so scared it already has been.
and I have no idea where your heart's at anymore. 


here's the thing about romance

here's the thing about romance:
you always want more.

at first you want signs.
a brush of knuckles, a casual arm over your shoulder.
a different way of saying your name.
a smiley face in a text
or a look.

and then you want touches.
an arm around you, keeping you warm.
laced together fingers.
and really most of all
a kiss.

but when your lips touch it's not enough.
though you drink it in, desperately, like a drug
the beauty's eclipsed by want of more.

because now you want words.
a grand sweeping gesture
a declaration of love
a promise.

after that you can't stop wanting.
you want the world, more time, more life.
you want forever.

and maybe that's where romance lives: in the wanting.
in the inflated expectations
and even the inevitable disappointments.

because there's something so hopelessly romantic, don't you think?
about always getting closer and closer
but never quite getting there