i hate myself.

i hate myself for being so emotionally unstable.
i hate myself for latching onto something so fast-- definitely because i am on nervous alert 24/7 for no good reason.
i hate myself for being plagued by love. this is horrible. horrible. horrible.
i do love new york and i'm so happy to be back but also scared, sick, tired, anxious.
i don't want to see the future, almost.
i'm a crazy motherfucker. help.